Why don't I just put on my mom shorts and join the AARP

So I went shopping on Saturday. I was in Younkers, wandering through the Juniors section. I realized that everything looked too young for me. After all, I am a mature 34 years now and it seems kind of pathetic to be shopping with the teeny boppers and/or sorority sisters. The problem is, I'm so small and short that I have a hard time finding clothes that fit me properly outside the juniors section. So I walk over to the women's section and notice a clearance rack with some nice looking (and deeply discounted) clothes on it. I start pulling off some cute printed shirts, jackets, etc. to try on. I reflect on my current wardrobe at home, and it's mostly solid color clothes. Prints are "in" right now, so I keep pulling shirts off the rack to try on. Maybe the women's section will work for me after all! After collecting several items, I notice that some SENIOR CITIZEN WOMEN are also pulling clothes off the same rack to try on! And I'm not talking a hip, barely 60 woman. We're talking grey/blue haired women at least in their 70's, maybe older. AHHHH!