One of the most disappointing things about my first pregnancy is all the negative advice I've gotten from other moms (whom, I acknowledge, probably do mean well). I am really surprised at how much I've been told I CAN'T or WON'T be able to do as a mom.
For instance, it is a goal of mine to have the baby sleep in his/her own room right away. We don't want the baby in our room. It is OUR room. The nursery is right across the hall. My husband will not sleep well with the baby in the room. He will be crabby for work, and he will be the only one in the home making money at that time (I could go on; you get the idea). However, I have been told by several moms that this plan will NEVER work. Certainly, I will have to give up because it can't be done to have the baby in his/her own room right away.
You know, maybe these people are right. Maybe it won't work. But is there any harm in letting me try to do it this way?
Or take my friend Jill. She would really like to go through labor naturally, without an epidural. Of course she has been told by other women that this goal is completely unrealistic. And she admits, she may not be able to do it. But again, what is the harm in letting her try?
Now, considering we are supposed to be the more nurturing, empathetic gender, I would expect that we would be more supportive of one another. So women, why do we do this to each other?
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4 comments:
Funny...I received the opposite opinion about in-room sleeping. Most everyone I've talked to has said putting the baby in their own room right away would be "better." (Including my husband.)
Is it just our natural instinct to tell other women that they're wrong, no matter what?
Here, here for some support in our own decisions!!
Oh, "THE ADVICE" and I use that term loosely. That is something I don't miss. It gets better as the kids get older, but it never really disappears. I had one particular woman ask me every time she saw me when I was going to cut off my long fingernails, "You know, you're going to scratch your baby all up" (I never did.) I think moms want to do the very best thing for their kids and if they convince everyone else that their way is 'the best' way of doing things then it must be true! So basically, insecurity. You're the best parents for your baby and the heck with everything else. Our kids slept in their own rooms as well and it worked great. But, seriously, Rach, don't start taking it personally now, because it might get worse (the advice/opinion). Start thinking of your standard reply now..."We'll just do what works best for us!"
Rachel. I love your blog. Fresh, creative, and in-your-face. 3 things I have always liked about you. :)
I am so happy to hear you are pregnant. I can't believe I missed the news until just a few days ago. Congratulations!!!!
Princess Gabrielle has always slept in her own crib and much prefers it to mommy and daddy's big bed. Sometimes she likes to sit in bed with me and read books, but when she's read to go to sleep, she crawls over me to get out of the bed to go to her room.
She's a product of that book I gave you at Mandi's wedding, "12 hours sleep in 12 weeks."
From months 6 to 8, she did not cry ONE time! Not even once! She's a happy but wild girl for whom we feel exceptionally blessed.
Advice--you've got the best person in the shole world on your speed dial; Melanie!
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